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Funnies
Invicta Alec:
There is of course the old car salesman's joke.........
Salesman : "How can I help you sir"?
Customer : "I want a car for my wife".
Salesman : "''Er, well let me have a look at her then" ;)
Dave Smith:
I now live in "the sticks", & the local story is about a farmer who lived here many moons ago. He had a donkey, who did all the ploughing & other work that a horse might do. But, he also had a wife who nagged, morn., noon & night. One day the wife brought sandwiches for the farmer's lunch, fine but then the nagging started again. Suddenly, the donkey turned round & bang! kicked the wife in the head & instantly killed her. At the funeral, the Vicar couldn't help noticing that all the wives approached the farmer, said a few words & he would nod his head. Then all the men approached him, said a few words, to which he shook his head. Intrigued, the Vicar went over to the farmer & asked him, "what was all that was about- nodding & shaking?" "Well", he replied, "the wives all commented how peaceful my wife looked, so I agreed. But the husbands all wanted to know if the donkey was for sale?" Thanks from me as well, Stuart.
Lyn L:
There's a garden in England which is called The Poison Garden, it has every known poison in the world in it.
From another site.. underneath someone had written
" Is there a gift shop ?"
Lyn L:
Thank you Stuart ;D
stuartwaters:
There you go.....
A woman goes into a pet shop and sees three parrots for sale, one for £350, one for £250 and one for a tenner. She asks why one is only a tenner and the pet shop owner says "Oh, it used to live in a brothel". "I'll take it" she says.
So, the woman gets the parrot home and it says "Oh, nice new place, get plenty of custom here I think".
Some time later, the woman's daughters get home from college and the parrot says "Oh great, new girls".
A bit later on, the woman's husband gets home and the parrot says "Oh, hi Dave, you found the new spot then"
And so the fight started.......
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